I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
