Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
