My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
are you still at the devil's house?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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