Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
