it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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