So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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