you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
