Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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