Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Buhtt sex?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
