so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
