drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
