did you get engaged???
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
