Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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