apparently the secret to your success is patron
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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