Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
