1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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