love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
