At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
