So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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