Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
