She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize