While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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