Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
