She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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