PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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