I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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