Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
