The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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