No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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