wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
