After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
