Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
