ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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