Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I didn't shave. On purpose
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
