the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Are my feet made of real feet?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
