I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize