she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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