i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize