Christians are straight up FREAKS
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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