Me too!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
