I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
