Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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