New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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