made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
