wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
