I bet he comes in French.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
