I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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