i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
