Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
ttyl tear gas
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
