She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
