PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
