May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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