The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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