Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
