I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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