I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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