this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Randomize