My pussy is not your playground.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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