Umm I'm too high to move.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
