I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
