i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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