I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize