she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
