i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
