He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm like, not good at living.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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